Saturday, 8 November 2014

My remembrance day.

One thing has never changed in T blogging over the years and that is the quiet weekends...

I can only hope that everyone is out trying to get as much out of life as they can. This weekend is Remembrance day here in the UK, modern life does not think the sacrifices worthy of an actual remembrance at the time on the actual day any more, Quite telling really...

I know that there is now a special Trans remembrance day but I , in my quiet corner of the universe, cannot help being stirred to remember "our" losses and the battles we have fought with ourselves, our families, the aggressive, hostile, bigoted media and especially the medical services which have dragged their feet for three generations in their willingness to help those with our condition.

I have been reading online for some years now and shocked myself first by how much has started to drift from my memory now that I have settled so comfortably on this side of transition and secondly by the litany of suffering and horror which started to come back. The countless reports of murders even murders of friends of those who are trans! Deliberate stark suicides, often by those who had seemed to be doing well, sometimes by simple neglect in treating an illness to take the quick and easy way out.

The deaths sound bad enough and I hope the future will see fewer as the media seems to be slowly stopping harassment of us but there is another group of sufferers who need remembering.

Those of us who accept who we are and decide to do something about it are in a minority, like an iceberg the great mass is hidden but they have chosen to accept the suffering that living in an alien body brings. Many thought that finding a partner and creating a family would squeeze out those dark thoughts and they could live comfortably and undiscovered, countless thousands must have done this down the ages and passed unnoticed.

I am especially thinking of those who have recognised their condition and shown themselves here online only to find themselves unable to bring themselves to stretch the bonds which bind them to effect an escape. Of the countless blogs I have found over the years what I have left to haunt me are those who remain trapped but know that release could be so close. That kind of endless suffering is visceral and unforgettable. They are the one's I am remembering from our war with identity...


  1. It's tragic, I agree, that circumstances prevent some from obtaining the deliverance 'full transioners' can enjoy. Not many can bring themselves to abandon family, friends and career for the sake of a new personal identity. It can seem a very selfish thing to do. And yet psychologically impossible not to do, sooner or later.

    All things come with a price.


    1. Hi Lucy, I think this answers why there are so many at each end of the age range, those who are now able to get help younger before getting trapped by responsibilities towards others and those of us older who hung on until we could bear it no longer.

      We all pay a price wether we transition or stay hidden. Which is the greater price, who can tell?