Friday, 12 December 2014

Not one for Christmas cheer.

There was a time when winter had some attraction for me. The summer distraction of seeing girls enjoying their colourful clothes and exposing parts of a body that I had been denied by my accident of birth was long passed and they were safely covered up once again. The cold weather cleared the streets and parks so that I could enjoy them in peace and alone. There was the occasional magical fall of snow transforming the everyday cityscape into something wonderful that I would explore late into the nights. Now with the wisdom of age snow is a hazard and broken bones just one step away.

The part of winter that I always disliked was this time of year. With a december birthday and christmas there was the trepidation of presents and the inevitable disappointment once received.

My parents were less than generous and any birthday present could be accompanied with a warning that there would be little to follow later in the month! It hardly mattered, apart from any edible sweet presents they would all be unwanted anyway. I must have not hidden my feelings too well because relatives gave up trying when I was still quite young and I might get a small monetary contribution "to put towards something else". Hardly much use to a child who is unable to ever express their desires! One day perhaps luck could come my way and the money "saved" in the form of Premium Bonds", a government savings lottery for more distant readers, still sit in that system, a small reminder of that poor sad child.

I am quite happy giving presents, I take great care to choose something to suit each recipient and think little of paying for them out of my limited resources. I have still not really got over the bad feelings associated with receiving presents, christmas for me will always be something to be got over rather than enjoyed.

Roll on spring, I want to see my legs again!


  1. Hi Ruby
    I can empathize with your feelings of disappointment around this time of year. I'm sure that it is twice as difficult for many others who are like you, having a birthday in the same month as xmas.
    And also, like you, there have been many Christmas's that I dreaded in full intention. I knew that what I really needed would not be under that tree, in that stocking, or discreetly tucked away in a card bearing the true gift of a Christmas wish. I have learned to make the most of it just like any other woman. Smile, pretend that this is the best Christmas ever, surround yourself with someone or something that makes you feel better about yourself until it all goes away.
    If that doesn't work just remember that it will be 364 days before Christmas is here again!

    Happy Birthday!

    1. Thanks Leigh Ann Bee. Hey! I survived! Regular good company saved the days. Couple of months of cold misery and we can start to live again.